Life, Stella & Dot

Work in Progress

Someone tried to steal my joy today, and she almost got away with it.

April was one of the best months I’ve ever had, both personally and professionally. I participated in the Avon Walk for Breast cancer, walking 39.3 miles in one-and-a-half days to raise money for the Avon Foundation for Women, raising nearly $5,000 in the process. It was a BHAG (Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal) if there ever was one!

In the weeks leading up to the walk, I went on training walks (6 miles, 9 miles, 12 miles), battled laryngitis, and did three successful Stella & Dot trunk shows, beating my personal best sales month by $4,000. The week after the walk, I did a mock trunk show at my networking meeting so my fellow members could learn more about my Stella & Dot business, took Coco to a local event to help raise money for a dog rescue group, and sponsored a new stylist.

I was a ROCKSTAR in April!

And then someone said something hurtful about my skills as a stylist behind my back and insulted my business acumen in a private Facebook message to me. She implied that she, a more savvy stylist than I, would reap the benefits of my ineptitude. Her comments stung, and I wanted to reply with a zinger that would make her feel as small as she made me feel. But I realized a zinger wouldn’t affect her the way I wanted it to; it would only fuel her fire and give her the chance to lob another one back at me.

So I held my tongue. Well, actually, I stewed about it for a while and said some things out loud while walking Coco that would have alarmed passersby had there been any, and I waited until the stinging feeling had dissipated before I responded to her. (Note to self: try this strategy more often.)

I thought about the quote my friend, Stiles, sent to me after reading this morning’s blog post:

We must not see any person as an abstraction. Instead, we must see in every person a universe with its own secrets, with its own treasures, with its own sources of anguish, and with some measure of triumph. – Elie Wiesel

Yes, I thought, that’s me! Secrets, treasures, anguishes – and triumphs. I know what it’s like to set really big goals – and surprise myself by achieving them. I know what it’s like to have your best month ever – six months after the person who loved and supported you most dies. I know what it’s like to ride a wave of achievement only to have it crash, inevitably, on the shore.

And you know what? So does she.

So instead of typing the back-atcha remark I composed on my walk around the block, I wrote this:

I have a thriving and fun business that brings me great joy, and that’s all that matters to me.

Someone tried to steal my joy today, but I didn’t let her.

10 thoughts on “Work in Progress

  1. You’re breaking my heart today, but in the best way! Can’t begin to tell you how many times I use the phrase “robbing me of joy” about various life circumstances. I am in progress myself regarding the “not letting them” part. Thanks for sharing this.

  2. Kelly, You are a ROCKSTAR! I’m so proud of you and your success with the Avon walk and your amazing month with S and D. Whoever this said mean things about you is dead wrong and you handled it beautifully! Sorry we didn’t get a chance to talk tonight. xoxo

  3. That, my friend, is why you will persevere and succeed. To give even one more ounce of your precious energy by acknowledging her negativity would have demonstrated to her that she did get to you – and that it mattered. Rise above – which you did beautifully. Xoxo always.

  4. Kelly you are beautiful and your strength amazes me. I am proud of you as a person, as a teacher & business woman, and as a friend. You are truly special. I would question the character of anyone who could address you in that way. My mother would tell you to “pity her” and oh yes…”pray for her…” My 15-year old daughter would tell you she’s a “hater.” I kind of think that sums up best those people who just seem a need to bring others down… I would personally like to kick her ass, if you wanna tell me who she is. And I bet I have back-up. lol!!! Use this as fuel to PRESS ON. No one would bother to write you such a thing if she didn’t view you as some sort of threat. That must mean you’re a dang good Stylist. Congratulations. Love you. Love your words. x

  5. Kelly, I just recently met you in an elevator in Seattle. You were wearing your Tree of Life necklace and I had on an armful of bracelets. It was just one of those unexplainable chance meetings, I don’t know why it just is. I’m so happy that I met you and can’t wait to see you in Las Vegas. As far as I can see you are one of the sweetest women I have met in recent times and if you conduct your business the way you treat random meetings I wouldn’t want anyone else being my Stella & Dot Stylist. Thank you.

  6. Way to go Kelly. I knew you as an amazing teacher and now you’re an amazing business woman… such a lady!

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