I just reread the entries since I started blogging last Sunday. What a difference a week makes.
Last Sunday, I was full of hope for my future, anticipating with joy the changes I would make to lead a more fulfilled life. While I don’t feel as mentally/physically/emotionally drained by the prospect of adding “value” to my job next year, I still feel like I lost some of the wind in my sails. My whole goal these past two years has been to work less and enjoy my own life more! It is difficult for me to wrap my head around the concept of working more – literally – at school, not just because I “want to” but because it’s part of my job description.
I suppose with better money management (stop paying the monthly memberships to Weight Watchers/Netflix/Graboid if I never use them!!!), it might feel like I am earning more after a couple of years. (Of course, as soon as I pay off the special assessment fee for the condo association, they will probably raise the monthly HOA fee, thereby negating any “raise” I will have earned…!)
I guess that working extra for no pay all these years has made me tend toward martyrdom (and a “glass half empty” perspective.) I know I don’t get paid what I’m worth and that I am waaaaaaaay over-qualified for what I do. I also know I am lucky to work where I do. It’s just that I finally jumped on the “work smarter, not harder” bandwagon, and I don’t want to get off yet!!!
So, as to the solace. I am keeping up with the housekeeping, and that is making a huge difference. I didn’t spend yesterday morning cleaning up all of my mess from the week. All I had to do was a little laundry, change the sheets, run the dishwasher, and clean up the kitchen! So minimal! My mom said it’s like “found” time, and it truly is. I was able to read half of my book club book (The Help – so far, so good!) and go to book club on Thursday night without feeling like I had left a tornado in my wake.
I am also finding solace in decorating blogs/inspiration/online shopping/envisioning a well-put-together home. The online shopping may not be good for my pocket-book, it is good for my bottom line – I’m not eating as much! And I am really seeking out bargains, like waiting for Target to discount the large apothecary jar I have my eye on (I purchased the medium one for 75% off – it cost me only $4.24!!!) I am taking pleasure in paying less for more, which is a new direction for me (although, I guess DSW has whetted my appetite!)
I offered to host book club at my house in February, a first for me, and I am thinking of ways to decorate my house for Valentine’s Day and what I will use for serving pieces, dishes, etc. It is motivating me to get some of those little picky-picky projects done so my house (condo) will be ready for its début (knowing, of course, that it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.)
I do have Coco here with me, and I love that. The other day, she sat in my lap while I read my book. Do you know how hard it is to read a 450-page hardback book with a not-so-little dog sitting in your lap? But I was enjoying her company too much to make her get down.
So, solace. Reading, relaxing, housekeeping (!), redecorating. Keeping me from going totally over the edge.